Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
