He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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