Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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