Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
