I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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