where does the pee come out of this thing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
