I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
