Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All the doctor said was why
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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