I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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