I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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