Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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