the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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