So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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