did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
