either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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