Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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