dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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