I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
