I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
