So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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