She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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