Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
