i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
