You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
