Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
