So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
