We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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