ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize