im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
