just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So squirting runs in the family.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
