Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
