im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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