Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
