Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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