a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
