my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
