there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
