you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
