I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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