I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Randomize
