omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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