Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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