Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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