I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
