I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
