This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
is it fun? or sober?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
