Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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