i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
