Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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