"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I came so hard my ears popped.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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