I hope mine doesn't look like that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
