I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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