Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
