Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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