I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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