dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
