you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
