i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
