my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
