After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
