he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
